Finding Faith
by Just-a-moment
Summary: Oneshot scene cut from Paying for Vengeance.


**A/N: I told myself I wouldn't do this until the story was over, but I reread this and still wanted to share it with you all. :) This is a scene I wrote that didn't end up being able to be worked into the story. Consider it a deleted scene or something. LOL It was meant to take place the afternoon after the McManuses flew back to Boston. Instead however, the fight between Katie and Murphy became prolonged into a discussion and all. And then they left for McGinty's. My original idea was for them to go to confession prior to going to the bar. **

**And a side note on the main story, I am still working on it. It's been another one of those weeks that started off slow and then flew by. But I'll be working on this tonight in the absence of a life otherwise :) and I hope to either have Chapter 35 out by late tonight or midday tomorrow. I tried to get my creativity flowing again by rereading some of the stuff I've got stored and that's how I found this!  
**

She watched them in the church, kneeling side by side, heads bowed. Da was in the confessional with Father Mackelpenny and Katie realized she still felt lost. Lost as to what to do next. Was she beyond hope? Things had been so clear to her when she'd left the church that last time but now, she'd felt like she somehow fucked everything up.

Moving quietly, she found herself drawn to the stand of lit votives in their little red glass jars. She stared at the moving lights, remembering what her Catholic grandma had told her the one time she'd attended mass as a child. _The candles are like little mailboxes, _her grandma had told her. _Each tiny flame puts the red flag up for God to know that someone has left a prayer for him._ The lights danced before her, casting tiny shadows on her hands as she raised them.

She could light them all and still not have all of her prayers taken care of. The tears had worked their way down her cheeks before she realized she was crying. Wiping them away, she continued to watch the candles.

A hand slipped into hers and she didn't need to look up to know it was Murphy. He squeezed her hand and stared out at the candles with her, his thumb softly caressing her knuckles.

"I almost always forget these are here ta light." His voice was soft, despite the fact that it was just the four of them and Father Mackelpenny in the church.

Katie glanced behind them and saw Connor step inside the confessional as Da kneeled on the floor near the other side of the pews. Murphy turned toward her and ran his thumb under both of her eyes, wiping a few more tears away.

"Have ye tried ta pray yet, Katie?"

She raised her eyes to him finally and shook her head slowly. "I'm not like you, Murph. I wouldn't know to say. It's been awhile."

"I say what's in my heart. That's all. We can do it together." He gave her a gentle smile and led her back to where he'd previously been praying with Connor. Wincing slightly, he went down on one knee first and pulled the kneeling bench down. He motioned for her to join him. She knelt down beside him, noticing that he chose to stay on his knees on the hard floor in lieu of using the bench with her.

Glancing at her, he shifted so that he was closer to her. And then he watched her and waited.

Katie turned to him after a moment and sighed. "Does this even work for me here?"

He laughed softly. "Why not?"

"I'm not Catholic, Murph."

"Aye, but we believe in the same God, don't we?"

She nodded and faced forward again, clasping her shaking hands in front of her. Murphy reached out and laid one of his hands over hers.

"It's okay."

"I don't even know how to start." She closed her eyes as she whispered the words, mortified at showing her ignorance. Tucking some hair behind her ear, he leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

"Do ye know the Lord's prayer, Katie?" His question was quiet enough that she opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes roamed her face as she watched him. She could see no judgment on his face, no disappointment in her.

"Yes that I do know."

"Let's start there then."

Katie swallowed hard and nodded in agreement. He gave her an encouraging smile before facing forward himself and closing his eyes, his hands clasped in front of him. She did the same and they were silent for a moment. It was only after a few seconds passed that she realized he was waiting for her to begin. She took a deep breath.

"Our father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name…" She whispered and felt her heart beat faster as he joined in. "Thy kingdom come. They will be done on earth as it is in heaven…" Their low voices blended together and Katie found herself fighting tears again as they finished with their individual amen's.

She kept her eyes closed despite the fact that she felt his gaze on her. His shoulder grazed hers as he leaned closer. "Now, just talk to Him. Ye'll feel better once ye get it off yer chest. Let Him guide ye, Katie."

Nodding, she squeezed her eyes tighter and thought for a moment. _Lord, I need your help._ She felt the lump form in her throat again. _I guess what I really need is your guidance. The Father said you had a plan for me. And I'm not figuring out what it is. And I'm really afraid that if I keep looking on my own, I'm really going to get lost here._

It was easier than she thought, she realized as she let everything out in prayer. Her misguided attempt as a hooker, her long since failed plan of vengeance, her hatred of the mafia and her love of Murphy and all things McManus. She talked about Sara and her concerns with them both.

She barely noticed the warmth beside her leave as Murphy got up. It came back a few minutes later, but she just continued on. Her heart felt lighter as she finally ran out of prayers and she raised her face, keeping her eyes closed. _You've blessed me, Lord. And I've been too blind to see it. Thank you for giving me your Saints to guide me. You and I both know I've needed them greatly. _She smiled slightly. _Thank you. Amen._

The church was bright as she opened her eyes. Turning her head, she gasped softly as she saw it was Connor who now knelt next to her, head bowed. His eyes opened then and he gave her a smile.

She laughed softly. "When did you two change places?"

"He didn't want ta leave ye here alone. Ye really didn't even notice, did ye?"

Making a face, she shook her head. Connor chuckled. "Did it work?"

She nodded, knowing he was referring to the praying. "For once, Murphy knew best."

"Aye, that does happen occasionally. Just don't tell him that. We don't want it goin' ta his head."

"Don't want what goin' to me head?" His voice came softly from behind them and Katie looked up over her shoulder. Murphy wore a small smile and was watching her carefully.

"Nothing." She grinned as he raised an eyebrow. Connor laughed again and stood up, careful to keep his right arm to his side. He turned and held his left hand out to Katie to help her up. Taking it, she winked at him. "At least someone's a gentleman here."

Her words held no bite as she slipped her arm around Murphy's waist and leaned her head against his chest. He lifted his arm to rest on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "Do ye feel any better?"

"Yes, Dr. Murphy. Your treatment worked wonders." She moved up and kissed him softly. He prolonged the kiss as she moved away, linking his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. With a laugh, she finally stepped back. "Church, Murph."

He grinned. "Yeah, yeah."

Katie gave him one last smile before she moved away, walking back to where the votive candles glowed near the wall. She pulled the small book of matches out and used a single match to light three candles. Warm bodies moved to either side of her but she kept her eyes on the flames.

"Three candles, huh?" Murphy's voice was barely above a whisper but it carried throughout the small area. Katie nodded.

"One for Peter. One for the mysterious Saints." She smiled as she heard him laugh softly. He took her hand and held it between the two of his. But she raised her eyes to where Connor stood on the other side instead. "And one for Sara."

Connor's lips parted slightly as he stared at her and for once, Katie could read the open emotion on his face. The pain and the fear were evident, but it was the love she saw in his eyes for her friend that make her realize that she'd been right. And now, Sara needed that prayer more than ever.

Putting a heavy hand on her shoulder, he kissed her gently on the forehead. His voice was quiet and husky as he whispered. "Thank you." With that, Connor walked away from them and disappeared into the back of the church.

Katie stepped forward slightly but felt Murphy pull her back. "Let him go, Katie. He needs the time alone fer now."

His arms slipped around her and she leaned back against him, her eyes still at the doorway where Connor disappeared. "I didn't mean to upset him."

"Ye didn't. Ye gave him hope." Murphy turned her around then and cupped his left hand behind her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. "And that's why I love ye so much. I never thought I'd find a woman who'd care about me brother as much as ye do. Much less understand him like ye seem to."

Katie stepped into his arms and he held her tightly. She sighed as she realized that despite the danger and the bloodshed around them, she'd never been as happy as she was in this moment. Turning her head, she rested her cheek against his chest.

"Your brother is hardly the tough one to understand in your family, Murph." She grinned as she felt him laugh.

"If he's as much like Brett as ye say he is, than ye came in prepared. There's little preparation ta be had for me."

"Ain't that the truth." She laughed until his hands found the ticklish spot in her lower back again. "Murph!" She tried to pull away, but his arms held her tightly. It was only as her elbow hit his ribs that he let go of her to grab his right side, closing his eyes against the pain.

"Fuck!" He breathed out and she stepped toward him, her hands shaking.

"Murph, I'm so sorry."

He opened his eyes and gave her a small smile, his face slightly pale. "My fault. I should have thought about that before ticklin' ye." He straightened back up and tried to keep his breaths shallow until the pain was gone.

Katie still watched him carefully, chewing on her bottom lip. Keeping his right hand on his side, Murphy raised his left hand to her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "I'm fine. Stop chewin' yer fuckin' lip." He grinned at her as she raised an eyebrow.

Her words were cut off by Connor who walked up to them again then. "Christ, Katie. What'd ye do to him?"

His teasing made her sigh and she crossed her hands over her chest. "I-"

Murphy cut her off. "It was my fault. I'll not tickle her again until me ribs are healed."

"That'd be a wise idea." Connor reached over and ran his palm over the top of her head, messing up her hair. She smacked his hand away and he just grinned at her. "Actually, I saw the whole thing happen. I just wanted ta give Katie a bad time."

"Ha. See if I'm nice to you again." She frowned up at him.

"Ye can't help it, Katie. Ye'd be nice ta me even if ye hated me. It's just who ye are."

"I'm not nice to Tommy." She found herself smiling as both Murphy and Connor raised an eyebrow at her in unison. "What? He's a jerk."

"Aye, but I hardly doubt that yer mean ta him." Connor nudged her.

Da walked up to them and grinned. "Are ye three ready ta go finally?"

"But Katie hasn't confessed yet." Murphy laughed as she gave him a look.

"Murph, how many times do we have to discuss this? I'm not Catholic."

"Aye, but I'll keep tryin'." He winked at her and gave a smile to Father Mackelpenny as he moved past them. "Father, I'm working on a new convert for ye."

Father Mackelpenny smiled and nodded to him. "I'll add her to my prayers."

Both Connor and Murphy laughed softly at that and Murphy slipped his arm over her shoulder, steering her towards the door. Katie just shook her head.

"You never give up, do you Murph?"

He looked down at her slightly as they followed Da and Connor out the door. "Not on you, Katie. I'll never give up on you."

**Again, A/N: My plan is that when I get done with this story, that I'll do a couple of one shots that'll take place after it ends while I take a break from writing. Then, I've developed enough of a plot line that I do plan on writing a sequel. The sequel will start less than a year after the first story ends. Hopefully it'll also be posted less than a year after this story ends. :) Okay, it'll be more like a month or two, really.  
**


End file.
